Too much hope

I consider myself an optimist. There’s always a silver lining to be found in everything…or so I thought and was led to believe. Things always get better…eventually. yeah this may be true, but what to do in the meantime? Suffer? Is that no different from suffering a ravenous cancer through your body, wherein you suffer daily, thinking it will get better someday and overcome the illness…but what if you don’t? Will that suffering be all for nothing? Will that waiting be all for naught? The promise that it will inevitably be better? But of course excluding all metaphysics. I mean…hey, if you’re dead, you’re dead, no matter in whichever plane of existence you exist. Would that have been better? Hoping things get better leaves you waiting indefinitely, only to be changed by a stroke of fate, whim of luck, a random occurance in the universe. There’s only a chance, a sliver of it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that this phenomena may come to pass, heck, it may even mean that when it does come to pass, you won’t be around to witness it. Hope is a delusion. The quicker you snap out of it, the better. But then, what’s left? Despair? It would equally suck if everyday you had to begrudgingly peel yourself off your bed and go through the daily motions. Day after day, year after year, and not a glimmer of anything to hope for. Sure, no waiting and suffering though waiting…but isn’t being in the state of absolute despair no different from suffering daily? So what then, if not hope or despair? Some middle ground unbeknownst to most? A middle ground must surely exist…but to what extent? Switching back and forth from each extremes would work, but tedious, as it seems. They should cancel each other out…but that’s what we call bipolar disorder. So what then would be a reasonable middle ground?